Irony of a Husband....

The irony of a husband is that he is nothing less and nothing more. He has been built, set, formed, transformed, to act, behave, live, nurture like a Husband. He knows nothing else in life.

Husbands are like having fat people picked up and made Santas on Christmas. Why, do we pick Fat people? Because we know Santa is fat. Husbands.................................... are typical.

A husband is likely to fit in a well set frame, a pre-define area, a cliche environment. Lets write down the characteristics of a husband.


* He will drive recklessly and would always make you realize that while you are with him on the two-wheeler, you start to believe in Almighty. You would shout, you would curse, you would say firmly to not drive like that. You will clinch the Back rest hard, You will grab the kid with all might and ...... He would drive safely for next 100 Meters .......

You would stop saying anything after a month. He would continue to drive the same way.....you will close your eyes and hope to live.

* He will hug you like a father and kiss your forehead in a way only a "Husband" will. His touch will always be pleasant, may not be special. But you will be OK with it. After all he is your husband.


* He will drink too much in parties and then blabber all out. You have to carry him back home with kids and worry more over the first point...the driving. Next morning you ask him not to drink too much and he promises not to. The next party he drinks more and all the F**king words would come out. The kids are listening to it, so is your Mother-in-Law and so are you. The next morning you would have a huge fight and he swears not to have it anymore. After next party....you stop saying anything about Alcohol too.

* He will have a huge poncho ( size may vary ) and will be very lazy after five years of marriage. You will have to run him around to get chores done or better do them yourself. He is just as good to earn big bucks and fill the house with furniture.

* He will fight with the Rickshaw puller for Change. While you will hold kid in your arms and watch your husband win or loose 5 bucks. And also explain to your kid why "DAD" is shouting. You would wonder what to say to kids at that time.

* He will be real clumsy while eating and gluttony will be all over his clothes.

* He would always Tie the Tie in a lousy way.

* His shirt will never be tucked inside the trousers nicely.

* He will have that receding hairline and a growing stomach.

* He will shave once in 15 days, sometimes even longer.

* He will never open the car door for you. In fact he will sit much before and start honking.

* He will always walk ahead and curse you to not walk fast enough.

* He will hardly compliment you and hardly care how you look after 5 years of marriage.

* He would stop bringing you flowers or gifts few months after marriage.

* He would always park in NO PARKING, Drive Wrong Lane, Overtake in a Crowded place, Honk and Shout uncontrollably and take you from the filthiest place in the city claiming that it is the best shortcut.

* He would never carry a Handkerchief.

* He would stop the car / bike and pee roadside while you are sitting in / next to vehicle thinking about the Hygiene.

* He will not have breakfast to avoid getting late to office, but comes back half way to collect his wallet.


There are so many other characteristics, so typical to a husband but you would still not be embarrassed ( this may vary ). He will still mean the world to you and you will be proud ( sometimes, may be ) to call him your husband.

He will be a good father, a good Son-in-Law. He would attend his in-laws and be a good host. He would be loved by everyone and people from both families would come and seek advice.

Ohhh....he would be so HUSBAND at times......at all times. His hug would always make you feel secure. His anger would never make you guilty, rather would irritate. Yet he will be "YOUR PROUD HUSBAND". He will make love in a manner that you would not feel special but would still let him have it, coz you think its his right. He will never change, even after 30 years of marriage and would always make you realize that you are married to him and not the other way round.

You would love him, and will get used to his antics and non-sense. You would cherish him few years down the line and may be start to love him more as a person rather a husband. Yet..

THE IRONY OF A HUSBAND IS,........ THAT HE IS SOOOOOOO HUSBAND.