Her first kiss was not at a very tender age, looking at her it seemed unbelievable. Infact it was so late that people normally have kids by that time. She did have a stint with intimacy but the experience was not much to remember about.
Nothing was wrong, nothing was lacking. She looked pretty and enormously sensual. She had sexy eyes, and soft voice. She had a great body and even better skin. So why she was still touched untouched?
She never asked the question to herself. She was ok with what life had to offer in terms of intimacy. "May be that is how it is out there", she said to herself. But deep down she knew it was much beautiful and yet so distant. Men seemed to touch her skin..... not her. They tend to kiss her lips..... not her, they grabbed her body ......never hugged her. They looked at her hungrily .......never with desire.
It was all physical always and never making love. She, as always had no complaints with it. There were times, or should say moments when she was taken completely away with the force but she could count that on her fingers and mark them on the clock.
She had had men drooling over her, right when she could know difference between genders. She has had people trying to be friendly and trying to take advantage. She had had youngs falling for her and so were the uncles. But none, never, no one ever looked at her with a desire, with passion, with love, with intensity.
They never realized what she wanted, how she wanted to be touched, how she wanted to be kissed, how she wanted to be taken away..........completey in their arms.
Men....O foolish men, they never realized what they were missing and she was always waiting for the next time....when she would feel the bliss that the world talk and have behind closed doors. She would want to feel like a woman....... made to feel......... by a man.
She was soon to get married, but yet not sure if he be the man she would have the perfect night. She wanted it to be perfect, at least for the first time, even if that means not her husband.
and She knows she is right in her own way. She is clear in what she wants and how she wants it. Which is fair enough, and pleasing to the heart. After all, she can not go on pleasing others.....always....
And there are so many things that she wanted in life, in just a specific way, but she had to give them up coz someone else wanted them the other way. Why can't she claim her right, why can't she claim she wants it that way, why can't she speak for her heart, why can't she be her someday, sometime, some point in her life.
Why does she has to please everyone and help everyone. She would get just one life, she would get just one marriage ( first at least ). She would loose it just one time, She would get dressed once in her life, she would bore her first kid to some one special.
Why can't she choose to live her own way, why can't she adopt her first kid, why can't her in-laws let her keep the kid's name something she wants and they don't interpret. Why can't she admire other men post marriage.
Bang comes the question, is she Weak to say something for else. Ohhhh...no.....She is not all. A person so adjusting, so considerate can never be weak. A person so compassionate, so caring can never be weak. So what is it that lets her be a mute spectator in her own life.
Its the way she wants things to happen. Its the person she wants to do them with, Its the moment she want to do it in, its the momentum that drives her.
And if she knows its gone, he will not be able to do it, it cannot happen that way....she would stay quite and let it happen same way. But the biggest reason is she places herself second.
I wonder if she can carry on like this before the dam breaks. I wonder if I can ever call her weak and blame her to come in between her own wishes, self inflicted. But I think I will be wrong.....coz she is living her life for others....and that is what makes her happy.
That is what makes her a .......WOMAN
Nothing was wrong, nothing was lacking. She looked pretty and enormously sensual. She had sexy eyes, and soft voice. She had a great body and even better skin. So why she was still touched untouched?
She never asked the question to herself. She was ok with what life had to offer in terms of intimacy. "May be that is how it is out there", she said to herself. But deep down she knew it was much beautiful and yet so distant. Men seemed to touch her skin..... not her. They tend to kiss her lips..... not her, they grabbed her body ......never hugged her. They looked at her hungrily .......never with desire.
It was all physical always and never making love. She, as always had no complaints with it. There were times, or should say moments when she was taken completely away with the force but she could count that on her fingers and mark them on the clock.
She had had men drooling over her, right when she could know difference between genders. She has had people trying to be friendly and trying to take advantage. She had had youngs falling for her and so were the uncles. But none, never, no one ever looked at her with a desire, with passion, with love, with intensity.
They never realized what she wanted, how she wanted to be touched, how she wanted to be kissed, how she wanted to be taken away..........completey in their arms.
Men....O foolish men, they never realized what they were missing and she was always waiting for the next time....when she would feel the bliss that the world talk and have behind closed doors. She would want to feel like a woman....... made to feel......... by a man.
She was soon to get married, but yet not sure if he be the man she would have the perfect night. She wanted it to be perfect, at least for the first time, even if that means not her husband.
and She knows she is right in her own way. She is clear in what she wants and how she wants it. Which is fair enough, and pleasing to the heart. After all, she can not go on pleasing others.....always....
And there are so many things that she wanted in life, in just a specific way, but she had to give them up coz someone else wanted them the other way. Why can't she claim her right, why can't she claim she wants it that way, why can't she speak for her heart, why can't she be her someday, sometime, some point in her life.
Why does she has to please everyone and help everyone. She would get just one life, she would get just one marriage ( first at least ). She would loose it just one time, She would get dressed once in her life, she would bore her first kid to some one special.
Why can't she choose to live her own way, why can't she adopt her first kid, why can't her in-laws let her keep the kid's name something she wants and they don't interpret. Why can't she admire other men post marriage.
Bang comes the question, is she Weak to say something for else. Ohhhh...no.....She is not all. A person so adjusting, so considerate can never be weak. A person so compassionate, so caring can never be weak. So what is it that lets her be a mute spectator in her own life.
Its the way she wants things to happen. Its the person she wants to do them with, Its the moment she want to do it in, its the momentum that drives her.
And if she knows its gone, he will not be able to do it, it cannot happen that way....she would stay quite and let it happen same way. But the biggest reason is she places herself second.
I wonder if she can carry on like this before the dam breaks. I wonder if I can ever call her weak and blame her to come in between her own wishes, self inflicted. But I think I will be wrong.....coz she is living her life for others....and that is what makes her happy.
That is what makes her a .......WOMAN
2 comments:
heyyy quite insightful!!
she is living it her way- her way is to live for others
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